Father Nico
by percabethanpuckabrinaforevs
Summary: When Nico's cousins are turned into little kids, it's a test to see if he can survive them! This next after Mother Thalia, and I would recommend reading that before reading this. It's Rated T just to be safe.
1. It Begins Again

**And, the long waited for: Father Nico! Let's see how Nico Di Angelo deals with his new role as a parent. Do you think he'll do nearly as well as Thalia? I hope that this story is nearly as satisfying as Mother Thalia was!**

**Disclaimer: I, very sadly, do not own PJO.**

Today was supposed to be a normal day. Nico was hiding in his cabin. Everywhere he went, those stupid Stoll brothers followed him around, determined to make him watch some stupid movie that they thought he was in. Percy was just spending all day with Annabeth, so he had no one to hang out with.

He wasn't going to go anywhere near Thalia. That girl had turned nuts overnight! Whenever she saw him, she would start fussing over him, like he was some sort of baby! And then – here came the creepy part – she would know what he wanted. Sometimes even before he knew it! Okay, so that might come in handy during a battle, but when your cousin knows when you need to use the bathroom? That's just a little too close.

Nico fell onto his bed in exhaustion. He was just so _bored_. And it really didn't help that this Aphrodite girl named Emanheline or something kept trying to flirt with him. She was kind of weird. She kept asking him if he wanted to play with Barbies. Sons of Hades do not play with Barbies!

A knock resounded on his cabin door, and Nico groaned inwardly as he drew himself up to answer it. If it was Thalia, holding a coloring book because she knew that he was bored, he was going to shut it in her face.

"Hello, son." Okay, so it wasn't Thalia.

"Um, hi Dad." Nico stood at the door awkwardly, wondering what he was supposed to do.

"Would you like to let me in?" Hades asked.

"Oh, yeah. Sure." Nico stepped back, his face burning, as his dad walked into his part-time home and surveyed the mess. The only occupant _was_ a teenage boy, so Hades really couldn't blame his son.

"Is there something you needed, uh, Dad?" Nico questioned hesitantly.

"Yes. How shall I put it to you?" Hades frowned, and pondered on it for a moment. "Ah, yes. Do you know how your cousin, Thalia Grace, has been acting…rather strange?"

"She's a total nutcase." Nico clarified.

"Yes, well, you see, there is this test that the gods bestow upon the Big Three children to assess how well they work together, and understand and realize each other's needs."

"Thalia's already taken this test, hasn't she?" Nico nodded, catching on faster than even Hades had expected.

"Well, yes. Now, son, it is your turn to take the test." Hades cleared his throat to fill the awkward silence.

"Well? Where do I take it? Do I need to know things like favorite colors? I mean, because, Percy's is blue, but I forgot what Thalia's is." Nico waited for his dad to answer, wondering why the God of the Underworld looked so uncomfortable.

"That's not exactly the test." Hades mumbled. "You see, your two cousins have been turned into young children, three and five years old. You are responsible for taking care of them, and making sure that they don't kill each other."

"WHAT? I have to _babysit_?" Nico looked at his father incredulously. "I'm a horrible babysitter! I almost murdered the last kid I tried to babysit!"

"Uh…the aura of your demigod…ness…has been removed so monsters cannot track you down while you are caring for your cousins, um, you can go in the air, underground, and in the water with no problem, and on your bed is a wallet that holds unlimited cash, credit card, and drachmas, just in case you need it. Other than that, um, good luck. Bye!" Hades blurted out, and then snapped his fingers and disappeared.

Nico stared at the spot where Hades had been standing, hoping that it was all a nightmare.

Then, he heard it. A soft crying noise from outside his cabin. The door swung open of its own accord, and right before his own eyes, a short, black haired little girl with electric blue eyes and an even smaller little boy with black hair and sea green eyes stood, holding each other.

"Nico!" The girl shouted, recognizing him.

"Nicko?" The boy looked confused.

"No, stupid. Nico." The girl snapped.

"Uh…" Nico sank onto his bed, unable to process what was going on.

"You know Nico, stupid. He's taking care of us. Do you remember me?" The girl sounded exasperated.

"Nope." The little boy popped the 'p' sound, obviously enjoying the little girl's dramatic speech.

"I'm Thalia! And you're Percy!" She roared.

Nico whimpered softly. These were his cousins?


	2. LALALALALALA

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.**

**I hope you like it!**

"Nico, I'm hungry." Thalia whined.

Nico sighed as he looked at her. You are a son of Hades, he told himself silently. Little children should not scare you.

"What do you want to eat?" He asked uncertainly.

Thalia shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm hungry."

"Hungwry!" Percy agreed enthusiastically. He ran over, unsteadily, to Nico, and lifted up his arms.

Nico stared back at him incomprehensibly.

"He wants you to pick him up." Thalia reminded him.

"Oh." Nico slowly (and awkwardly,) put his arms around the three-year-old.

Percy screeched in delight as Nico stood up, settling the little boy on his hip.

"Shut up, stupid." Thalia muttered, wincing.

"Uh…Thalia…that's not very nice." Nico mumbled.

Thalia shrugged. "I'm still hungry."

"Where do you want to eat?" Nico asked, clearing his throat

"Duh, the dining pavilion. That's where we have to eat." Thalia told him.

As Thalia raced out in front of him to where all of the campers were gathering, Nico followed much more slowly. "I am so not liking her attitude."

Percy giggled and pointed at a bird that was flying above them in the sky. "Look at! Look at!"

"It's marvelous." Nico muttered sarcastically.

"It's marvelous." Percy repeated gleefully. "Marv…marvelous!"

"Thalia, wait! Hang on!" Nico ignored Percy and called out to Thalia, who was reaching dangerously close to the border of Camp Half-Blood. Nico took a brief moment to wonder how she got to the pine tree when they were on the path to the dining pavilion, but disregarded it when Thalia stopped abruptly and turned around to glare at him.

"What?" She snapped when he reached her, panting.

"Don't go somewhere that fast without me." Nico glared straight back at her.

"Marvelous." Percy added.

"Shut up, stupid." Thalia growled. Nico snatched up her hand before she could start another race.

"I can walk by myself." Thalia grumbled, trying to pull her hand away.

"Yes, because that worked out so wonderful the first time you did." Nico replied. "How did you even get here? The dining pavilion's that way."

Thalia didn't answer, just grumbled and sighed loudly.

Nico pointedly ignored her, and stomped back to the dining pavilion.

"Look at! People!" Percy shouted, attracting attention from almost everyone at the dining pavilion. It was almost an eerie quiet as Nico stalked to his table.

"What are you looking at?" He growled, challenging the table next to him.

They busied themselves with their lunch, but they watched them through the corners of their eyes.

Thalia did a fantastic imitation of his growl, and soon everyone was back to their food, although deafeningly silent.

"Look at!" Percy shrieked, as food materialized on the table.

"Yes, Percy, it tends to do that." Nico sighed.

"You're so stupid." Thalia sighed in exasperation at him. "You're killing me!"

With a sudden loud sigh, she out her hand on her hand and dramatically let it fall to her side.

Nico rolled his eyes. "Eat."

"Not hungwry." Percy announced.

"You just said you were!"

"No, _I_ said that I was hungry. Percy was just being a stupid parrot." Thalia answered.

"Then _you_ eat your food." Nico ordered. "Percy, you can just hang out, I guess."

"What does hang out mean?" Percy questioned.

"Uh…play?" Nico offered.

"Yay! Playing!" Percy took off, running at full speed to the Athena table.

"You could at least attempt to stop him." Called Will, from the Apollo cabin.

Nico glanced around, and then sighed.

"Percy…um…quit playing." He murmured effortlessly.

"Nice try." Travis grumbled sarcastically.

"Well, you try to tell a hyper three-year-old to shut up and sit down." Nico challenged.

"LALALALALALALALA!" Percy began to sing, loudly and out of tune.

"PERSEUS JACKSON! GET BACK TO THE TABLE RIGHT NOW AND SIT DOWN! EAT YOUR LUNCH!" Travis and Connor yelled together.

Percy immediately stopped singing and pouted like a three-year-old…um, pouted like the three-year-old that he was.

"Wow, good job." Nico whistled, impressed.

Percy brightened. "You liked my singing?"

"Uh…"

"Percy, no one likes your singing." Thalia said, bluntly.

Percy stuck out his tongue at her, and turned hopefully to Nico. "Nicko like it?"

"Well, it was just bearable. And, it's Nico." Nico replied, trying not to hurt the little boy's feelings.

"What does bearable mean?" Percy asked innocently.

"The dictionary definition is 'able to be endured,' and other synonyms include, endurable, tolerable, or passable. In other words, it was almost okay." A new, definitely smart, voice joined the conversation.

Nico looked up to see a tan, pretty blonde looking back at him, understanding in her eyes.

"Who's that?" Thalia asked in awe.

"ANNABETH!" Percy screamed, running into her arms in joy.

"Hey, Percy. Um, Nico, I know you don't remember this, but when Thalia was your – um, in your position, I kind of helped take care of Percy. Would you like me to, well, uh…" Annabeth smiled shyly, unlike her at all.

"You're hired." Nico said immediately, relief evident in his voice.

"Yay! Annabeth gets to be babysotter!"

"Babysitter." Nico corrected.

Thalia regarding the older girl coolly. "Are you good at giving orders?"

"I guess so." Annabeth looked at Nico in confusion, but he simply shrugged.

"Good. I'm going to need someone else to help me keep these two in line." Thalia nodded her approval at Annabeth.

Nico rolled his eyes. "Oh, dear gods."


	3. I Go Annabeth

**Hopefully, this should keep us rolling for the rest of the week. I'm going to see if I can update over the weekend, too, but at least this will last us until Friday. Oh, and guess what? I just got PJO for my birthday! I own it now! NO I DON'T OWN PJO! FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME! Ha. Take that copyright. Sorry, I'm hyper.**

"Are you sure?" Travis whined.

"YES! I do not want to see the stupid video you two took of me!" Nico snapped out through gritted teeth.

"He said leave him alone." Thalia kicked Travis's shin – hard.

"OW!" Travis shrieked like a little girl, and then quickly and overly dramatically ran over to his brother.

"Connor! How much do the hospital bills cost? Now they'll cost even more since I've been shot! No!"

"Let's go." Nico grabbed Percy's and Thalia's hands and gruffly pulled them away.

Travis had caught up to Nico just before he could make a clean getaway and began harping on how 'now he just had to see the video of himself when he was younger, because now he knew what the Hades they were talking about.'

"Where are we going?" Percy asked curiously.

"Out. Somewhere." Nico answered vaguely.

"I go Annabeth." Percy said suddenly. He stopped walking, and Nico tugged on his hand.

"Not now."

"I go Annabeth." Percy insisted.

"You can go An – uh, you can go _to_ Annabeth later." Nico compromised.

"I GO ANNABETH NOW!" Percy screamed loudly. "ANNABETH! ANNABETH!"

Annabeth looked up at the commotion calmly from the Athena table.

"Take charge of the situation, Nico." She mouthed to him.

"You can, uh, go to Annabeth after, um, she eats. Yeah. Once Annabeth finished eating, you can go play with her." Nico promised.

"I go Annabeth now." Percy stubbornly crossed his arms.

"No, stupid, it's not like Annabeth is just going to disappear. Once she's done eating she'll come find us." Thalia explained in exasperation to him.

"I go Annabeth now." Percy still wouldn't budge.

"Perseus Jackson, if you continue to stay here then you won't get to play with Annabeth at all. If you come with us now, you can play with her later." Nico scolded smugly.

"Annabeth?" Percy turned and looked hesitantly at Annabeth, who nodded encouragingly.

"Okay." Percy opened up his arms, and Nico scooped him up uncertainly.

"Let's go to the arena." Thalia suddenly suggested.

"Um, I was planning on going to my cabin to take a nap." Nico clarified.

"Naps are for babies." Thalia declared.

"Yeah!" Percy agreed.

"Besides, it's too early to have a nap. We just had breakfast." Thalia pointed out haughtily.

Nico took a deep breath and count to ten silently. It took all of his willpower not to glare at Thalia. Was she always this bossy?

So with Thalia in the lead, the trio stomped down to the arena.

**My family is screaming at me to get off the computer, so I'm really sorry that it's so short, but I really have to go. **


	4. Please, Can We Go?

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.**

"Look at!" Percy pointed vividly at a few naiads, who were giggling at pointing back.

"It's rude to point." Nico scolded mildly.

"I want to go the circus." Thalia suddenly said. "Wait, no. I want to go to the mall!"

"No." Nico planted his feet.

"C'mon. Why not? Please? Pretty, pretty please?" Thalia half pleaded, half whined.

"First, there's no mall around here. Second, I dislike shopping. Third, because I said so." Nico scowled. There was no way he was shopping.

"Mall?" Percy perked up. "Yes! Mall! Mall! I go Annabeth go mall! LALALALALALALALA!"

Nico winced. "No mall, Perce. Sorry, but that's just the way things are."

"I want to go to the mall." Thalia stomped her foot angrily.

Nico regarded his young cousin coolly. He was hoping that she wouldn't be like she usually is and know that he was totally playing it. He had no idea what he was supposed to be doing.

"Mall. Mall! Mall!" Percy chanted.

"Mall! Mall! MALL!" Thalia joined in.

"No, no, no, no…" Nico trailed off as the two of them surrounded him and continued their chant.

"MALL! MALL! MALL!" They screamed together in unison.

"No!"

"Yes! MALL! MALL! MALL!"

"If I say yes, will you two shut up?"

"Of course."

Nico sighed in defeat. "Fine. We'll go after lunch."

"Yay!" Thalia shrieked excitedly.

Percy just grinned stupidly, knowing that he had won something, just unsure about what it was.

"Let's go!" Thalia pulled Nico toward his cabin. "We have to get ready."

"Oh…uh….right. What are the chances Annabeth could take you two and I could stay home?"

"Slim to none." Annabeth answered.

"Holy Hephaestus! Where did you come from?" Nico shouted in surprise.

"Invisible hat." Annabeth reminded him. "Anyway, I can't take them because I still have my demigod scent, while you don't, so you three will be safe. I wouldn't be able to keep neither them nor myself safe in a mall."

"Were you spying on us?" Nico demanded.

"Yeah, were you spying?" Thalia copied his pose, placing her fists on her hips.

"And if I was?" Annabeth challenged.

"Then please take Percy and leave." Thalia answered for him.

"I go Annabeth." Percy said seriously. He wrapped his short arms around her left leg and hugged it tightly.

Nico sighed, again. He usually didn't sigh this much. What was wrong with him?

"Let's get ready for you to go to the mall." Annabeth suggested, pitying him.

"Great idea!" Thalia grinned up at her, and Annabeth was once again respected.

"Why do I need to get ready to go to a mall?" Nico asked.

"Trust me. Just trust me." Annabeth responded.


	5. What Do We Pack?

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO, nor do I own any of the stores mentioned in this chapter. If I did, do you really think I would be hanging out on fanfiction, and not in some super expensive limo, going to watch some movie in my private movie theater, while the butler does my homework?**

Annabeth was right; there were a lot of things you needed to do to get ready for a trip to the mall. First off, Nico had to locate the Stolls and make sure that they were occupied.

"Check." Nico muttered as he moved away from the Aphrodite cabin, angrily glaring down two frightened boys.

"Did you just call us UGLY?" Drew Tanaka shrieked in outrage.

Next, he had to find a bag big enough to carry a lot of stuff.

"Thanks, Lou Ellen." He called back as he carried an enchanted bag back to his cabin.

Finally, he had to pack.

"What do I take to the mall?" Nico wondered aloud.

"Well, start with snacks." Annabeth suggested, her voice slightly muffled.

Nico turned and caught a glimpse of curly blonde hair spilled across his pillow. Annabeth was being attacked by Percy and Thalia.

"Wiggle monster!" Percy shouted gleefully.

"You mean, tickle monster, stupid." Thalia corrected before leaping onto Annabeth.

Nico turned around and rolled his eyes as Annabeth turned the tables and began tickling the two of them.

Amid shrieks of laughter, Nico found some cookies and a few crumpled up fortune cookies.

"Check." He told Annabeth, ignoring Percy and Thalia, who were eyeing him, interested.

"Let's see, you've got snacks? Maybe pack some money." Annabeth suggested, her voice calming down as she settled.

Nico held up his wallet and tucked it into his back pocket.

"Okay, then I would suggest keeping a couple water bottles." Annabeth leaped up. "I'll go get them for you; I know where Chiron keeps a few."

"Thanks, Annabeth." Nico called as she ran out the door.

It was strangely silent as Nico collapsed on the bed. He didn't notice it for a few moments, but then he worriedly turned to make sure Percy and Thalia hadn't been kidnapped.

He found them staring at him, like predators stare at their prey.

"Oh, um, hi guys." Nico mumbled uncomfortably.

"WIGGLE MONSTER!" Percy screamed.

Nico never saw it coming.


	6. Right

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.**

Annabeth returned to the Hades cabin to find Nico sprawled across his floor, Thalia and Percy sitting on top of him proudly.

She hurriedly shooed them off, and checked to make sure Nico didn't have any serious injuries.

"Th-Di-Did you see that?" Nico spluttered.

After the kids, (and Nico) had calmed down a little bit, Annabeth packed up the backpack and handed it to Nico.

"Okay, so here's the deal. I talked to Chiron, and Argus will take you down to the mall. You guys can have all the fun you want, and when you want to return, you can take Gray Sisters' taxi back." Annabeth explained.

"Are you sure you can't come with us?" Nico whined, feeling a little childish, but not wanting to be left alone with those two predators –uh, children.

"Nico, I already explained this to you." Annabeth sighed patiently. "I still have my demigod scent, so even if I did come with you, monsters from all over would be attracted to the mall, and you three or innocent civilians, could get hurt."

"I know, I know." Nico frowned, glancing over at Thalia, who was scowling impatiently.

"Don't forget to be careful." Annabeth reminded him as she held out her arms to Percy. He ran over and she scooped him up and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Be good for Nico, okay?"

"For Papa Nico!" Thalia snickered. "Papa! Percy, call Nico, 'Papa,' okay?"

"Okay." Percy turned to Nico. "Hi, Papa."

"Oh no." Nico turned to Annabeth for help.

"Well, you and Percy called Thalia, 'Mama' for the time that she was in your place." Annabeth offered.

"What are you talking about?" Thalia demanded, hearing her name.

"Nothing!" Nico quickly replied. "Come on, you guys, let's go to the mall and back before you two eat my sanity completely!"

"Yeah, let's go, Papa." Thalia grinned as he winced slightly.

Nico gripped her hand and grabbed Percy's hand, and the three of them marched outside.

"Um, Nico, aren't you forgetting something?" Annabeth called after him.

Nico turned around. "What is it?"

Annabeth grinned at him.

"Nico, Argus is that way." She pointed in the other direction, away from where Nico was headed with his two charges.

"Oh, right. I knew that. I was headed there, anyway." Nico faked.


	7. Stranger

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO, and it's thanks to GirlHayley that this chapter could be done! So, thank you!**

The car ride was silent as Nico sat stiffly in between Thalia and Percy. Argus didn't speak, of course, but Nico could almost feel him debating on whether to make some noise or not.

Finally, Nico sighed and slumped down in defeat.

"So, what do you guys want to do at the mall?" He asked, turning to Thalia.

"When we get there, we'll see what looks like it'll be fun and do that." Thalia answered, as though Nico were stupid. "Duh."

"Yeah. Buh." Percy chimed in.

"Shut up, stupid." Thalia told him off, but her words lacked the usual snap.

Nico ignored it.

The mall loomed into view, and Argus quickly pulled up in front of one the stores.

"Looks like we're going through Macy's." Nico announced, recognizing the store.

"What's the name of the store?" Percy asked as Nico helped unbuckle him.

"Macy's."

"No, the big store." Percy pointed at the Macy's entrance.

"It's called Macy's, Perce." Nico grumbled.

"No, the store that the store is inside of!" Percy stamped his foot childishly.

"Oh, you mean the mall?" Nico realized what he was talking about. "Um, it's the Forestmeadow Mall."

"Fowestmeadow." Percy repeated, looking thoughtful.

"Come on!" Thalia snatched Nico's hand and dragged him towards the door.

"Ow! Gods, do you still have your super strength, or something?" Nico yelped as her hand tightened forcefully around his arm.

"Boys." Thalia stuck out her tongue at him.

Nico made sure Percy was following them before letting himself be dragged into Macy's.

"Hello, can I help you find something?" An employee rushed up to greet them.

Thalia quickly dropped Nico's hand and shrieked. "Stranger! Stranger! STRANGER!"

She started to run back out the way they had come in, but Nico grabbed her.

"Thalia, what are you doing?" He demanded. "You're making a scene!"

"STRANGER!" Thalia shouted, pointing at the freaked out employee.

"She's just a nice lady. She's not going to hurt you." He soothed, unsure what exactly to do.

"She's not going to hurt me?" Thalia asked suspiciously.

"She likes you." Nico encouraged.

Thalia freed herself from Nico's grasp and cautiously approached the lady, who gave her a nervous smile. With a deep breath, she reached out and poked the employee in the knee.

"She's clean!" Thalia announced.

"That's wonderful." Nico muttered. "Let's get out of here."

Grabbing Percy and Thalia, he apologized to the employee before nearly running out of the store, into the rest of the mall.

On the way out, someone ran into him.

"Oomph!" Nico fell onto the ground.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." A man hurried over to help Nico up.

"It's okay." Nico answered.

"Is everything okay with your sister?" The man asked.

"My sister?" Nico turned to see Thalia who was gasping and sputtering.

"Thalia? What's the matter?"

"STRANGER! STRANGER! STRANGER!"


	8. Uh-oh

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO. All I own is this idea for Father Nico.**

Thalia looked at the stranger, then at Macy's. Nico could see she wanted to run, but it was either running back to that employee in Macy's, or running into a mall full of strangers.

Instead, she settled for running in circles around Nico.

"Stanger! Stranger! STRANGER!" She screeched.

"Thalia, shut it!" Nico hissed, grabbing her by the arm to force her to stop. "He's a nice stranger. He's not going to hurt you!"

Nico groaned inwardly as Thalia approached him, and again went through her procedure of checking to make sure he was clean.

"He's clean." She finally declared.

The poor man looked sorry that he'd ever come to the mall that day.

"Let's go get something to eat." Nico suggested brightly. He briefly apologized to the man before Thalia grabbed Percy and his own arm and dragged them to the food court.

Every time Thalia saw someone she didn't know, she freaked out, but Nico managed to shut her mouth quick enough. Eventually, he resorted to carrying her.

With her face buried in his shirt, she couldn't see any strangers, was his logical thinking.

"Bum. Bum. Bum. Ba-dum ba-dum." Percy hummed under his breath.

Nico looked at him suspiciously. "What are you singing?"

"Nothing." Percy looked back at him innocently.

Nico shrugged it off. He had enough problems with Thalia squirming around.

"What do you guys want to eat?" Nico asked as they stopped in front of a McDonalds.

"Blue cake." Percy announced.

"They don't serve blue cake at McDonalds, stupid." Thalia snapped at him. She twisted around to see the menu.

"I'll take some chicken nuggets and fries." Thalia decided.

"Me too! Me too!" Percy nodded.

"Okay then." Nico stepped up to the man who was going to be taking their order, putting Thalia down.

"We'll have one twenty piece chicken nugget, three fries, and three waters." He ordered.

He pulled his wallet out as the guy read his price out.

"For here or to go?" The guy asked, sounding bored.

"For here, I guess." Nico glanced around for Thalia and Percy.

Wait a second. Where were Thalia and Percy?

"On second thought, make that to go." Nico muttered as he did a three-sixty, searching for them. "Oh, gods."

The guy handed him his bag (guess it must have been a slow day at McDonalds) and Nico took off, trying to locate them before he heard the siren, "STANGER," and found a really confused and startled shopper.


	9. Surprise Adoption

**To clear up any confusion, this is before Percy gets kidnapped, so sometime after "The Last Olympian," and he and Annabeth are dating. Sorry for the misunderstanding!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.**

Holding on tightly to the McDonalds bag, Nico raced through the mall. He hurriedly checked out Macy's, and then ran like a maniac into Barnes and Nobles.

Where were they? Great. He was doing a fantastic job taking care of them. He'd lost BOTH of them on the first day! He was probably the worst babysitter ever!

In a last ditch effort, Nico dashed outside. He jumped around frantically.

"Why are you acting like a chicken with its head cut off?" A loud, obnoxious, and _familiar_ voice cut through the air.

Nico turned around to see Thalia and Percy staring at him in confusion.

"Where did you guys go?" Nico gasped. "I was looking all over for you!"

"We didn't go anywhere. We were following you." Thalia answered.

"Yeah." Percy piped up.

"Why didn't you answer when I called out your names?" Nico demanded, his heart rate slowing down a little as he caught his breath.

"We wanted to see what you would do." Thalia giggled suddenly. "It was funny."

"Yeah!" Percy laughed.

Nico rolled his eyes in frustration.

Suddenly, in the parking lot, a big black van came barreling toward them. Nico grabbed Percy and Thalia and jumped out of its way.

The back doors opened up, and two men came out. Both had masks, and one had a gun.

"Get in the van." He hissed.

Nico glanced at Thalia and Percy, and decided to do as he said.

"Wait!" Nico shouted as the masked man started to close the door after they got in. "Why are you kidnapping us?"

"Kidnapping?" The man paused to think for a second. "We prefer, surprise adoption."

With that, the door snapped shut and Nico was forced to look at nothing but darkness.


	10. Food?

**PLEASE READ THIS FIRST! Okay, first of all, I know it caused a little confusion, because of the "surprise adoption," and the reason Nico didn't tell Thalia and Percy to run away was because they're kids, and all their demigod instincts are pretty much gone. Plus, no matter how fast a six-year-old can move, would you really want to bet that your cousin could run faster than a bullet? Nico wasn't willing to take that chance. Okay, now that we have that out of the way. Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.**

Nico struggled to think about what to do. Next to him, he could hear Percy whimpering quietly, and Thalia's forced breathing as she tried to calm down.

"It will be okay." He tried to comfort them.

"The sadow's are scary." Percy admitted.

"Sadows? Oh, you mean shadows." Nico nodded although Percy couldn't see him. "It's okay, bud."

Shadows…something was bothering him about that word…SHADOW TRAVELING!

"Guys, I might have a way out of here." Nico whispered excitedly.

"You do?" Thalia gasped.

"Hold my hand." He instructed.

Thalia gripped one of his hands and Percy –

"Food!"

"Yeah, we'll have the McDonalds later." Nico hurriedly grabbed Percy's hand. "Okay, hang on."

He focused intently on the shadows, and did his best to think of someplace other than the van.

He opened his eyes expectantly.

It was still dark…and they hadn't moved.

"Nicko?" Percy asked hesitantly.

"Why didn't it work?" Nico hissed in frustration. He cursed under his breath.

"Food?" Percy questioned.

"Yeah, fine guys. Let's eat." Nico opened up the McDonalds packet, and pulled out the food.

"Yum, food." Someone murmured.

The voice didn't belong to Thalia, Percy, or Nico.


	11. Yo, Dudes

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.**

**Also, please do not kill me, and I'll keep updating, okay? Irregular updates are better than nothing, right? LOL.**

"AHHH!" Nico, Percy, and Thalia screamed. Thalia and Percy leaped onto Nico's lap for protection.

"Relax, guys, it's just me." A light came on in the van, and Nico looked at the masked man.

"You kidnapped us, threatened us with a gun, shoved us into the back of a dark van, and expect us to RELAX BECAUSE IT'S JUST YOU?" Nico yelled.

The masked man winced. "I knew this was a bad idea, but Zeus just wanted you guys up on Olympus, and Apollo thought it would be cooler if we did it the human way, and –"

"Hermes?" Nico asked incredulously.

The god whipped the mask off his head and grinned. "The one and only."

"Hermes, the human way is to _invite_ someone." Nico growled. "_Not_ kidnap someone with two little kids and threaten them with a gun."

"You made me drop my McDonalds!" Thalia glared at him accusingly. She seemed to have forgotten her "STRANGER!" process. Nico was grateful. He wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

"Food!" Percy scolded. "My food!"

"Oh, is this the young Thalia Grace and Percy Jackson?" Hermes grinned at them, waving his hand. Instantly, the McDonalds were picked up off the floor, neatly de-germatized, and handed back to the trio.

"No, it's young Harry Potter and Hermione Granger." Nico snapped as the two dug in. "You really should know who you're kidnapping before you do it!"

"Aw, you're still sore about that?" Hermes gave an exaggerated sigh. "You know, holding a grudge for a son of Hades is extremely dangerous."

Nico took a deep breath to calm himself. He really didn't need skeletons popping out to try and murder the god.

"Want to meet Apollo?" Hermes asked cheerfully.

Before they could agree, (or refuse, in Nico's case,) the walls of the van melted away and they realized that they were in Apollo's chariot.

"Yo, dudes." Apollo called from the front.


	12. Warehouse

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.**

"Who are you?" Thalia asked suspiciously, moving to the front of the chariot as it stopped for a red light.

"I'm Apollo. Want to hear a haiku about me?" He asked excitedly.

"No!" Thalia shouted.

Nico sighed in relief.

"Nicko?" Percy tugged on Nico's leg. "I go Annabeth."

"Annbeth's not here right now, Perce. Do you think you could wait for a little while?" Nico practically begged.

"Hey, quit calling him Nicko." Thalia seemed to notice Percy. "He's Papa, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Percy nodded in agreement. "Hi, Papa."

"No. I am not 'Papa.' I am Nico. Let's get that straight." Nico automatically directed. "Understood?"

"Whatever you say, Papa." Thalia rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Ooh! Shiny button!" Percy shouted in excitement, pointing to a silver button on the side of the chariot.

"Don't touch that, Percy!" Apollo shouted in horror.

He was too late. Everyone watched in shock as Percy pressed the button, and a fireball flew from the side of the chariot. It rammed into a brick wall, and instantly, a warehouse was on fire.

"Get out of here!" Nico shouted, grabbing Percy to keep him from pressing the button again.

Apollo pulled at the steering wheel – or whatever it was, – and the sun chariot lifted off the ground and flew into the sky.

They continued in silence for a few moments, everyone (besides Percy and Thalia) contemplating the problems that warehouse was going through.

"I really hope that warehouse wasn't important." Apollo declared.


	13. Chaos in the Throne Room

**Disclaimer: I do not PJO.**

Finally, the sun chariot landed on Mount Olympus. Everyone instantly sighed in relief, Percy and Thalia because they were scared of heights, Nico because he was scared of heights AND because he couldn't wait to get out of an enclosed with those two monsters.

Fortunately, Apollo landed in the throne room, so it was solid ground.

Unfortunately, the gods were sort of having a meeting during their landing.

"Apollo, Hermes. You're late." Artemis snapped when she saw them.

Nico stepped out next.

"Nico?" Hades asked in confusion. "What are you doing….oh."

Thalia and Percy raced out.

"Wag! Wag! You're it!" Percy shouted in excitement.

"It's _tag_, stupid." Thalia huffed. She stomped away from the younger boy. "Boys are so stupid!"

"Um, come on, you guys. We've got to go." Nico hissed. Every holy eye in the room was on them, and he was feeling a little self-conscious. Could you really blame him?

"Go Annabeth?" Percy asked, suddenly perking up.

"Yes!" Nico sighed in relief. "We'll go Annabeth-uh, go _to_ Annabeth."

Both Athena and Poseidon sighed at this, Poseidon because of how young Percy was again, Athena because he still couldn't stay away from her daughter.

Thalia, meanwhile, had marched up to Zeus unnoticed.

"Hey, hippie man!" She shouted.

The room instantly became pin-drop silent. Not even Zeus's daughter would get away with calling him a "hippie man."

"Thalia!" Nico gasped. "You don't call the King of the Gods 'hippie man!'"

"But I want to know why he looks so weird." Thalia shrugged innocently. "He's wearing a really weird shirt."

"It's called a suit." Nico corrected nervously.

Zeus was at a loss for words. Why was his daughter a) insulting his choice of clothing, and b) insulting his good looks?

"Hippie man!" Thalia shouted again, this time more urgently. "How come you're not answering my question?"

"Hippie bag lady!" Percy shrieked suddenly. He wriggled out of Nico's grasp and barreled toward Hera.

"What?" Hera snapped. She was not exactly as in shock as her husband was. "What did you just call me?"

"Hippie bag lady." Percy answered nonchalantly, as though he called that to everyone he met, and it was a compliment.

"Why is Hippie Man not answering me?" Thalia complained. "Is he deaf?"

"Deab?" Percy wondered. He turned to Athena. "Excoose me, Miss Owl Lady? What does deab mean?"

"Athena is not Miss Owl Lady!" Nico shrieked.

"What does deab mean?" Percy asked again.

Hera answered. "It means, young demigod that Zeus cannot hear. And I have been asking that question to myself for many years now."

"What?" Zeus questioned, recognizing the insult – the only familiar thing, now.

"Nothing, dear." Hera haughtily flipped her hair.

"Hippie Man, why is nobody talking? They were all talking before we got here." Thalia interrogated. "And how come they were all screaming at each other? They should learn to listen."

"Says the girl who calls her cousin stupid every time he asks a question." Nico mumbled under his breath.

"Exactly my point, my lieutenant!" Artemis smiled in appreciation. "I knew I was right in choosing you! You show true leadership, even in your youth!"

"Huh?" Thalia turned to her.

"What's a weadership, Miss Shiny White Lady?" Percy spoke up.

"Artemis is not Miss Shiny White Lady, Percy!" Nico whispered in panic. If anybody was going to scorch them, it was Artemis.

"Leadership is being bossy and telling other people what to do." Thalia answered her cousin confidently. "It's what Nico does all the time."

"What?" Now Nico gaped at being insulted.

"Mr. Dark?" Percy turned Hades. "How come you're throne is black?"

"Because he's the god of the Underworld, stupid." Thalia snapped.

"Please don't tell me you're going to nickname everyone here." Nico pleaded.

"Yeah!" Percy shouted. He ran over to Hera.

"Hippie bag lady!"

Then, Zeus. "Hippie Man!"

Then Dionysus. "Mr. Man That Smells Like That Drink That Mommy Said Never To Have."

Then Hades. "Mr. Dark!"

Then Athena. "Miss Owl Lady!"

Then Artemis. "Miss Shiny White Lady!"

Then Hephaestus. "Mr. Black Stuff On Top Of Him."

Then Ares. "Mr. Red."

Then Hermes. "Mr. Long White Stick!"

Then Apollo. "Mr. Big Yellow Car!"

Then Aphrodite. "Miss Pretty Face That Looks Like Annabeth But Isn't 'Cuz Annabeth's Prettier!"

Then, at last, Poseidon. "Mr. Man That Smells Like The Sea!"

By this point in time, Nico was on the floor, groaning. "That's your _dad_ Percy! I'm going to die! I'm going down to the Underworld, on a one way ticket! Why me?"

"Mr. Red?" Ares snapped. "Are you kidding? Hephaestus gets the long 'Mr. Black Stuff On Top Of Him,' and I get Mr. Red?"

"Miss Pretty Face That Looks Like Annabeth But Isn't 'CUZ ANNABETH'S PRETTIER!?" Aphrodite looked like she was ready to blow up the world. She shot a murderous look at Poseidon. "I'm going to kill your son!"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't." Poseidon muttered. "Mr. Man That Smells Like The Sea? Seriously?"

"That's nothing! I got Mr. Big Yellow Car!" Apollo shouted. "First off, I don't have a car. Second off, my sun chariot is gold! AND IT'S HUGE! NOT BIG!"

"Are you kidding me? I got Mr. Long White Stick!" Hermes looked outraged. "Forget your chariot! Does my caduceus look like a stick, or even white, to you?"

"MR. MAN THAT SMELLS LIKE THAT DRINK THAT MOMMY SAID NEVER TO HAVE?!" Dionysus looked ready for battle. "I will turn him into a crazed dolphin!"

Slowly, Nico crawled over and grabbed Thalia and Percy. Praying that it worked, (although his father was probably too busy being angry to answer his prayers) he did his best to channel his thoughts to Camp Half Blood. Shadow traveling better work, or else Percy might be dead.

The last thing he heard before his vision grew dark was Thalia whispering to Percy.

"You're such a stupid idiot, Percy. Mr. Big Yellow Car? Don't you know it's Big Yellow Chariot?"

"I'm hungwry." Percy replied, completely unaware of the chaos he had caused and they were now leaving behind in the throne room.


	14. Explanations

**I'm sorry that I haven't updated in so long! My schedule has just gotten so busy, it's kind of insane. Plus, I'm having a terrible case of writer's block, and I just don't know what to do. *Sigh.***

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.**

"Nico!" Someone shouted. Nico dizzily stood up, still gripping Percy and Thalia. "Wha-?"

A redhead filled his vision. "Rachel? What are you doing here?"

"It's summer break. I was visiting, and I wanted to see Percy and Thalia, but no one will tell me where they are. You don't happen to know, do you?" Rachel asked him hopefully.

Nico glanced down at the two kids, who were beginning to regain their senses.

"Let's never do that again." Thalia declared. She spun around in a circle, and then collapsed on the ground.

"Oh, who are these two?" Rachel squealed, bending down to get eye level with Percy.

"Who're you?" Thalia grunted, pulling herself up. She carefully crept toward Rachel. "Don't look at me!"

"Sorry." Uncertain, Rachel looked the other way.

Thalia snuck behind Rachel and lifted out a finger. Without a sound, she jabbed the oracle in her leg – hard.

"OW!" Rachel shrieked, clutching her leg. "What was that for? That really hurt!"

"She's clean!" Thalia announced, turning back to Nico, who was trying to blend in with the grass.

"Ouch!" Rachel moaned. She glared at Nico, who wasn't succeeding in his camouflage. "Who are these two?"

"I'm Thalia." Thalia stepped up. "And these are my two dummy cousins. That's Nico, over there. He's trying to be a chameleon. This is Percy." She lowered her voice to a stage whisper. "I don't really like him. I just _tolerate_ his presence."

Rachel blinked, and then turned toward Nico, who grinned sheepishly. "Isn't that a big word for a six-year-old?"

"Explanations. _Now_."


	15. Well He Is

**I am soooo sorry that I haven't updated in forever! My computer had an issue and we just now finished it. However, I now have Father Nico, Chapter 15! I hope it's good; I typed it up in five minutes.**

"I still can't believe it." Rachel declared. She watched as Percy stuck out his arms and ran up and down and all around, making a "BRRRR," sound.

"Well, believe it." Thalia replied. "Percy, quit being an airplane! You suck at it."

Rachel looked at Nico, taken aback.

"She doesn't mean it." Nico explained. "She's just…um…"

"Thalia at age six?" Rachel offered.

"Yep." Nico accepted. "But now I don't really know what to do. We had quite a day at the mall."

They sat in silence, watching the sun lower itself into the darkness of summer night, the gray smoke from the campfire still burning.

Percy stopped "brrring" and collapsed on the ground with his eyes closed.

"Maybe you should get them ready for bed." Rachel suggested.

"Good idea. Would you help?" Nico begged.

"Why not?" Rachel shrugged. "How hard can it be?"

Nico bit his lip.

"Wait! We haven't even had dinner yet!" Thalia shouted.

Percy jumped up, reenergized. "Dinner! Dinner! Dinner! Percy want go dinner go Annabeth!"

"What?" Rachel looked to Nico for a translation.

"He wants to have dinner and go to Annabeth." Nico responded.

"Aw, that's so adorable! He still remembers her!" Rachel grinned.

"Trust me, Rachel; it's really _not_ that adorable after a while." Nico sighed.

"Yes! Believe me, Percy so dumb and stupid!" Thalia agreed.

"Thalia! That's not nice!" Rachel gasped, dumbfounded.

Thalia shrugged. "Well he is."


	16. Arguing

**I really don't know how to apologize for being wiped off the face of the planet for, like, four months. The truth is, my cousins, who are my main inspiration for this story, haven't visited us in forever. We were expecting them to come and come and come, and I promised myself that I would update when they came. But since they didn't come, I've literally gone dry of any and all funniness possible. This is probably going to suck, but I'm going to post this chapter anyway to apologize.**

"Percy, please. We'll find Annabeth soon. Quit making a fuss." Rachel scolded as she tried to keep her grip on him. Percy squirmed unhelpfully, trying to break away.

"I wanna Annabeth! I go Annabeth! Pweeeeeeaaaaasssseeee! I go Annabeth now! Where Annabeth?" Percy cried.

"Just wait." Nico suggested. Rachel glanced over, unsure if he meant her or the baby, and in that split second, Percy escaped.

"You just had to say something, didn't you?" Rachel groaned, realizing that she would have to chase the energetic kid _again_.

"You guys suck at babysitting." Thalia pointed out from her place on Nico's shoulders. He would have really rather preferred her walking, but she had started to complain, which had started Percy off, which had then led to Rachel's _friendly suggestion_ that he put her on his shoulders. Who knew that threatening to kill someone was friendly nowadays?

"Not now, Thalia." Nico muttered. "Oh, Zeus help me! Where did Percy go?"

"Oh, doggie doo!" Rachel spit out with venom. "Do you see him?"

"If I saw him, don't you think I would, uh, you know, TELL YOU?" Nico snapped.

"Don't shout at me!"

"I'm not shouting at you!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Well, it's not my fault! I've had a very long and tiring day dealing with these two demons, and when I get home I find that not only have I lost one, there's no food to help me gain my strength back, and certainly no time for even a seconds rest!"

"You guys sound like a married couple." Thalia unconcernedly added in.

Nico seethed. "That's it. You're walking."

"Don't you dare put her on the ground, Nico Di Angelo!"

"Just watch me, Rachel-Whatever-Your-Last-Name-Is!"

"What? Whatever-Your-Last-Name-Is? Do you realize how stupid you sound? It's Dare, by the way."

"Oh, just stuff your face with ambrosia!"

"Are you telling me to shut up?"

"No, I'm telling you to stuff up."

"HEY! GUYS! I FOUND PERCY! WHY WAS HE BURIED IN LAUNDRY BASKET?"

Mitchell from the Aphrodite cabin raced up holding an innocent-looking evil child in his arms. Percy had white specks (obviously detergent) all over his face, clothes, and hair. It looked more like he'd been rolling around in snowflakes.

"Thanks so much, Mitchell!" Nico sighed in relief. He picked up Percy and turned to thrust him into Rachel's outstretched arms.

"I wanna go Annabeth." Percy mumbled sleepily. "Hungwy too."

"Yeah, buddy, we're going." Nico replied, pausing instead of just handing him over to Rachel. He took a moment to look at how angelic a baby Percy actually looked. His face was buried in Nico's sleeves, his eyes nearly shut. Whoever said looks could be deceiving had no idea how right they were.

"Can we hurry up here? What's the hold up?" Thalia snapped.

The downside to holding Percy was that Nico couldn't hurl Thalia off of him.

No wonder Rachel wasn't moving to take Percy. Wait, where was she?

Nico looked around, confused. Wasn't Rachel just with him, like, three seconds ago?

He suddenly caught sight of a figure jogging off into the distance. With the sun highlighting the color of her hair, Nico wasn't surprised to find that it was Rachel.

That sneaky Oracle.


End file.
